eichien

 since i came back here to write. 
i'm so disappointed, sad, what you name that is depressing.
i don't know what my brother got himself into. 
and my dad pass such a bad comment. 
i get all emotional when that kind of comments are being said on anyone. 
Like fat, ugly and any other negative comments... 
my dad said that he brought up a son that is big and has no brain. 
and then my mum has to add on that why did she have to suffer. she can just die. 
i wished a wish that everything that i have can stay with me till I die. i know i'm selfish. 
i don't understand why when anything crops up, the first thing is to die. 

psss. vinnnnnnnnnn.
that's why i never will say you are fat and if i ever say that you are fat, i'm not saying that you are FAT literally. 
i just want you to do something about it, like i mean just exercising. even if the fats are still there, i DON'T mind. 

Sometimes I long for my share of freedom.
because I'm practically tied down with school and church.
sometimes i feel that my life revolves around these 2 things and nothing else.
and i'm missing out 1 big chunk of fun and laughter.
though i have my share of fun and laughter in these 2 places.
but definitely, not with the people i long to be with.
like my parents, specifically, my dad.
he work all day long and that wasn't what he wanted anyways.
but still. for the family. he continued to work.
and he specially got this guy to work on saturdays and sundays so that he can spend time with the family.
but often, i become the odd one out.
because on saturdays, i won't be home until 10pm. and when i reach home, he's asleep.
and on sundays. i am out again. and i won't be home till night.
i'm missing out not only on friends, but also family.
though i know he allow me to do whatever i want, i think he still want some time with me.
sometimes,  i don't know what to do.
when i miss cg or church. they tell me G is more important.
when i don't go for family outings, my mum tell me it's okay not to go for once.
how i wish, about 5years ago, i didn't...
my most wonderful time in C was when i first came and was still with S. and i had my bestest friend, WY. though we don't contact each other as much as before.
and after that, everything was roller coaster.
i kept having changes.
and i know people will tell me.
CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT IN LIFE.
but i think it's too constant in the area of C.
i don't how many more rides i have. but i know i can end all this free rides by...
everyone says they understand me.
you think you understand me.
but sorry to say,
no, you don't understand me at all.
it's really hilarious when people tell me, i understand you...
or i understand what you mean.
you really understand?

oh well.
and one last thing.
i wonder who was the one who kept giving my handphone number to people? 
and just, my email add.
can that person just respect me by asking me before hand? 
damn it. 
irritating.  

yes. damned results. plus damned people. i think YT and J seriously lacks COMMUNICATION. it pissed me off big time. i told him when i will be serving already. you come asking me when can i serve. and attachment is tiring enough, and do you think i will even bother to go and think which services can i serve.?! MOREOVER, i have already told YT about it. okay, except christmas drama week. then when i am having attachment, you called me. even staff nurses also don't answer to calls. what more, me, a student nurse! then you ask me to call you back. for GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON!? so i just replied you saying yes? and damn damn damn damn damn you! you just replied me this effing reply. I think my sms said call n not reply my sms. sheeeh oh so whatever. how to serve others when your attitude is as good as SHIT. mind you i say SHIT. whatever. i have decided not to serve for any services. it just so happened that ii am not in such a good mood and you had to step on my toes. just ask people who knows me well enough, what will happen if they have offended me. damn it. and i so love Samsung. cos it has this thing known as auto reject. which makes my life not that torturing. having to either listen to my ringtone till it ends or vibrate till i feel so eff. can it just stop?! therefore, this thing known as auto reject was switch on as of 17 DECEMBER 2009 for you. feel honoured? you better be. no matter what you say, i don't care. i can't be bothered already. and the journey begins. ending this 2009 this way with a number on my auto reject is quite interesting huh? oh well. i bet you must be thinking. attachment tiring, then those working adults must be dying. oh so whatever. try facing those cranky people for 8 hours a day for 2 weeks?! DAMN it.

is a good day!
many things happened.
and i mean, GOOD things!
HAHAHA!
oh. btw. i saw & touch & play with a real placenta in the morning when i was having AAP!
damn nice!
HAHA!
and my friend calls it HONG SHAO NIU ROU or pizza hut's new creation. faints~~
lunch at SIM and after that is a piece of good news.
then went for FON.
and then AAP lecture.
and it's another GOOD news! 
WHAHAHA!
so many good news!
i love it!
HAHAH!
i am crazy!

oh whatever.
and yes.

sheryl gave me this bookmark that says:
THANK YOU FOR BEING MORE THAN A FRIEND.
though she asked me if i used bookmark.
i still insist that she wanted to give it to me in the first place.
no matter whether i uses it or not!
HAHAH!
I LOVE YOU, SHERYL! <3

Sheryl: 
you are more than a BOOMZ to me!
HAHAH!
&&& all the best for your A's.
i want to see you appear on Brand's Advertisment!
MOTIVATION!
JIAYOUJIAYOU!
i love you!
 

is passing by me so fast!
i need to catch a breather and chiong for my common test now!
gonna learn about male reproductive system for banana's and macacilla this coming week.

starting the first day of the week with nsl practical is bad enough.
and more things had to come by.
yesterday itself was bad enough in fact.
and thought that today IS a brand new day.
and i shall just put aside what had happened yesterday.
but then...
i just felt like MM and BANANA is against me.
i don't know what's wrong.
i mean, my sensing is rather strong.
MM went to ask whether i did practice NG tube insertion.
what do you mean when you ask that? 
you think i will be that stupid. time for me to practice and i don't want to?
what crap.
and that BANANA.
i am boiling.
and this is the first time i ever gave what my friend used to say the 'wtf' face to a lecturer in my poly life right in the lecturer's face.
i was already tired.
and i had to sit there.
cannot write. must listen to YOUR STORY.
by the time i want to write i have already forgotten what i wanted to write already.
and so. i just picked up my bag and i saw the NG tube which i used yesterday at vivo had already came out of the plastic thingy.
so i just conveniently took it out and turn around and around on my fingers.
and DAMN!
not like i took 1 whole hour to turn!?
when i place it in the plastic thingy.
you just said something like.
are you very eager to leave?
i mean.
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
the NG tube has got nothing to do with your lesson.
i think your linking has some problem.
then i just said it came out of the package.
then you told me.
if you didn't touch it, it won't come out.
MAN. i think you are some retard right?
i don't know how you become a DR.
it's like. when you tie something. it will come loose also right?!
i am sinning in my heart now.
as much as i am controlling! 
then she still APOLOGISE to me.
i think she's really crazy.
but anyways.
i gave her the wtf face.
i am already pissed enough.
the fact that it's monday blues.
the fact that i don't understand a effing thing you are saying.
the fact that i cannot write when you are doing your story-telling! 
it's enough!
i pity her children.
having such a crazy mum.
and i am thinking is her children normal.
damn.
DR BANANA! i want to, ar! 
and the most irritating is!
i have to see her tomorrow for another module! 
i hate her V all (we all)
vyou all (you all)
okay.
and lastly.
i hate the BANANA itself.

and now after my venting.
i am still feeling very wt!
my friend also kena.
she sat down there.
paying attention. keep quiet.
then BANANA scold her.
say she don't like people keep quiet.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

i need to TALK to release.
not like i blog down i will feel better!

see BANANA tmr.

ah051109
sgh111109.
GG.
HAHAHA.
i don't know what to answer ah if they ask me why i chose them.!

LOL.
i find that i have nothing to write about.
except to remember that i went for BD on 28oct.
lame~~~

looks like many ears hor?
LOL.
this is super lame.
-.-

the weak falter, the strong falters too.