eichien

Sometimes I long for my share of freedom.
because I'm practically tied down with school and church.
sometimes i feel that my life revolves around these 2 things and nothing else.
and i'm missing out 1 big chunk of fun and laughter.
though i have my share of fun and laughter in these 2 places.
but definitely, not with the people i long to be with.
like my parents, specifically, my dad.
he work all day long and that wasn't what he wanted anyways.
but still. for the family. he continued to work.
and he specially got this guy to work on saturdays and sundays so that he can spend time with the family.
but often, i become the odd one out.
because on saturdays, i won't be home until 10pm. and when i reach home, he's asleep.
and on sundays. i am out again. and i won't be home till night.
i'm missing out not only on friends, but also family.
though i know he allow me to do whatever i want, i think he still want some time with me.
sometimes,  i don't know what to do.
when i miss cg or church. they tell me G is more important.
when i don't go for family outings, my mum tell me it's okay not to go for once.
how i wish, about 5years ago, i didn't...
my most wonderful time in C was when i first came and was still with S. and i had my bestest friend, WY. though we don't contact each other as much as before.
and after that, everything was roller coaster.
i kept having changes.
and i know people will tell me.
CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT IN LIFE.
but i think it's too constant in the area of C.
i don't how many more rides i have. but i know i can end all this free rides by...
everyone says they understand me.
you think you understand me.
but sorry to say,
no, you don't understand me at all.
it's really hilarious when people tell me, i understand you...
or i understand what you mean.
you really understand?

oh well.
and one last thing.
i wonder who was the one who kept giving my handphone number to people? 
and just, my email add.
can that person just respect me by asking me before hand? 
damn it. 
irritating.  

yes. damned results. plus damned people. i think YT and J seriously lacks COMMUNICATION. it pissed me off big time. i told him when i will be serving already. you come asking me when can i serve. and attachment is tiring enough, and do you think i will even bother to go and think which services can i serve.?! MOREOVER, i have already told YT about it. okay, except christmas drama week. then when i am having attachment, you called me. even staff nurses also don't answer to calls. what more, me, a student nurse! then you ask me to call you back. for GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON!? so i just replied you saying yes? and damn damn damn damn damn you! you just replied me this effing reply. I think my sms said call n not reply my sms. sheeeh oh so whatever. how to serve others when your attitude is as good as SHIT. mind you i say SHIT. whatever. i have decided not to serve for any services. it just so happened that ii am not in such a good mood and you had to step on my toes. just ask people who knows me well enough, what will happen if they have offended me. damn it. and i so love Samsung. cos it has this thing known as auto reject. which makes my life not that torturing. having to either listen to my ringtone till it ends or vibrate till i feel so eff. can it just stop?! therefore, this thing known as auto reject was switch on as of 17 DECEMBER 2009 for you. feel honoured? you better be. no matter what you say, i don't care. i can't be bothered already. and the journey begins. ending this 2009 this way with a number on my auto reject is quite interesting huh? oh well. i bet you must be thinking. attachment tiring, then those working adults must be dying. oh so whatever. try facing those cranky people for 8 hours a day for 2 weeks?! DAMN it.

is a good day!
many things happened.
and i mean, GOOD things!
HAHAHA!
oh. btw. i saw & touch & play with a real placenta in the morning when i was having AAP!
damn nice!
HAHA!
and my friend calls it HONG SHAO NIU ROU or pizza hut's new creation. faints~~
lunch at SIM and after that is a piece of good news.
then went for FON.
and then AAP lecture.
and it's another GOOD news! 
WHAHAHA!
so many good news!
i love it!
HAHAH!
i am crazy!

oh whatever.
and yes.

sheryl gave me this bookmark that says:
THANK YOU FOR BEING MORE THAN A FRIEND.
though she asked me if i used bookmark.
i still insist that she wanted to give it to me in the first place.
no matter whether i uses it or not!
HAHAH!
I LOVE YOU, SHERYL! <3

Sheryl: 
you are more than a BOOMZ to me!
HAHAH!
&&& all the best for your A's.
i want to see you appear on Brand's Advertisment!
MOTIVATION!
JIAYOUJIAYOU!
i love you!
 

is passing by me so fast!
i need to catch a breather and chiong for my common test now!
gonna learn about male reproductive system for banana's and macacilla this coming week.

starting the first day of the week with nsl practical is bad enough.
and more things had to come by.
yesterday itself was bad enough in fact.
and thought that today IS a brand new day.
and i shall just put aside what had happened yesterday.
but then...
i just felt like MM and BANANA is against me.
i don't know what's wrong.
i mean, my sensing is rather strong.
MM went to ask whether i did practice NG tube insertion.
what do you mean when you ask that? 
you think i will be that stupid. time for me to practice and i don't want to?
what crap.
and that BANANA.
i am boiling.
and this is the first time i ever gave what my friend used to say the 'wtf' face to a lecturer in my poly life right in the lecturer's face.
i was already tired.
and i had to sit there.
cannot write. must listen to YOUR STORY.
by the time i want to write i have already forgotten what i wanted to write already.
and so. i just picked up my bag and i saw the NG tube which i used yesterday at vivo had already came out of the plastic thingy.
so i just conveniently took it out and turn around and around on my fingers.
and DAMN!
not like i took 1 whole hour to turn!?
when i place it in the plastic thingy.
you just said something like.
are you very eager to leave?
i mean.
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
the NG tube has got nothing to do with your lesson.
i think your linking has some problem.
then i just said it came out of the package.
then you told me.
if you didn't touch it, it won't come out.
MAN. i think you are some retard right?
i don't know how you become a DR.
it's like. when you tie something. it will come loose also right?!
i am sinning in my heart now.
as much as i am controlling! 
then she still APOLOGISE to me.
i think she's really crazy.
but anyways.
i gave her the wtf face.
i am already pissed enough.
the fact that it's monday blues.
the fact that i don't understand a effing thing you are saying.
the fact that i cannot write when you are doing your story-telling! 
it's enough!
i pity her children.
having such a crazy mum.
and i am thinking is her children normal.
damn.
DR BANANA! i want to, ar! 
and the most irritating is!
i have to see her tomorrow for another module! 
i hate her V all (we all)
vyou all (you all)
okay.
and lastly.
i hate the BANANA itself.

and now after my venting.
i am still feeling very wt!
my friend also kena.
she sat down there.
paying attention. keep quiet.
then BANANA scold her.
say she don't like people keep quiet.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

i need to TALK to release.
not like i blog down i will feel better!

see BANANA tmr.

ah051109
sgh111109.
GG.
HAHAHA.
i don't know what to answer ah if they ask me why i chose them.!

LOL.
i find that i have nothing to write about.
except to remember that i went for BD on 28oct.
lame~~~

looks like many ears hor?
LOL.
this is super lame.
-.-

the weak falter, the strong falters too.

hahahha.
3rd day of school.
survived the longest day.
didn't died during lecture =X
HAHAHA.
didn't quite understand aap.
main points wasnt spelled out.
need to self study for CMBio and aap.
sian-ed.
oh well.
study....

ECP with my family!
didn't went for service.
gonna go for cg and then s4.
hahha!
ohyes.
must make it a point.
today is friendship day.
according to me.
i think each time i give someone something it becomes friendship day.
HAHAH!
i forgot to take a photo of the end product.
but i think it's better than the other one which i make for my mum's friend.
as in the paperbag skills. =S
hahha. it was so KOYAK in the end.
cos i twist here and there and none is right!
muahaha.
okay.

i can't love without giving.

okay.
how horrendous.?
see for yourself...





my ghostly handwriting!
imagine how much effort i used last time to write nice chinese characters! 
Zzz
now i need to 2 lines to write chinese.
OH WELL! .
no more chinese except my name...
HAHAHAH.

yesa.! new dog, lucky at my grandma's place! 
my new found entertainment! at D' Kranji
muahahah.
but sad life it has. life in a ROOM!
hahaas.
okay. enough of doggie doggie dogg.
makakaka.
okay. 
i think i am too high for anything right now.
okay. except medications.

i don't know if you know about it already.
but i hope you won't take it to heart that i didn't tell you anything when i decided to pick advice from other people.
and then they took action. i don't know if they did.
but still i hope you won't take it to heart.

HAHAHA!
was looking through my report book for TSS.
was looking at all the comments.
then i chanced upon this.
Ei Chien is a pleasant student. However, it will be good if she works on her occasional rude behabiour to the teacher. She should work harder to get better results in the final examinations.
This is a comment from THAT form teacher that i don't like.
then this is another one.
Ei Chien is a delight! She has a very positive attitude toward school and approaches her assignments in a confident manner. She has taken initiative to assist the class committee in her area of expertise. Good job! 
This is a comment from a form teacher that i like.
HAHAH!
man.
i am washing dirty linens in public! 
but who cares uh! 
here's another one.
English language: 
Ei Chien's improvement in the subject is a reflective of her strength of character: this girl does not give up easily. More crucially, she is responsive to good advice. It is this grit and determination that will see her through her 'O' Level Exams.
sometimes when i read this i feel that the meaning is like i am stubborn! ARGH. but well, i think the last sentence brought me back to the actual meaning. =D

and looking further back. to my primary school! 
QPS!
now is a contrast of remarks from a chinese teacher and english teacher.
from chinese: There is still room for improvement.
from english: Ei Chien has shown improvement in english and mathematics. Keep up the good work next year.

i really felt like telling the chinese teacher that there is much more improvement for her! HAHAH!. evil me! 

& i realized that i was UNDERWEIGHT in p4&5!
what memories! 

it's really 往事只能回味！
i'm really bored la! 
HHAHA! off to open my wardrobe and see what to wear tomorrow! 

Was on the train back home with some of the cg members from Orchard.
then they were talking about how are we going to celebrate our 18th/21st birthday...
and then i was thinking...
why i have never heard of people asking how are they going to celebrate their parent's 60th birthday?
hmmms.
i think this will set you all to think uh?

God is with me.
seriously. i feel so blessed and safe.
I don't why.
God seems to have just shown me a way that he not only love me, but also protects me! and my things!
okay. he really protect my things okay!
as a NPHSN student, we all have a PDA that cost us $550! 
and we have to have it with us when we go for our clinical attachment (CA)!
but since CI will not sign for us this week,
i got PSYCHO to leave my PDA in my bag in the staff tearoom's cabinet which does not have a lock! 
thinking that the people there have integrity. =S
but just now after i went for dinner with another student
my friend called out to me after i step 3 steps out of the lift.
i was shocked okay!
then she told me that her PDA, $10 and ezlink card got stolen.
i was panicking.
then i was about to run to tearoom until they told me that they have checked my bag and everything is still intact.
funny or what!
but still, i went back to take everything to MO's room bigbig cabinet.
both of us left our PDA and wallets and everything inside.
but hers was stolen but not mine.
isn't it funny! 
and the more funny thing is this.
they asked me whether i zipped my bag or not and i said of course i zipped tightly!
then they said this.
" then your bag also kena ransack cos the zip were all open"
so you see! 
that person must have seen my PDA and my wallet inside. anyways. my wallet only have $2.
but maybe someone whom God have send entered the room thus that thief couldn't steal mine in time!
see. God protects my things!

lesson learnt.
i will put everything in MO's room and then take my important stuff with me! 
and i hope that that person will return the PDA and ezlink card to my friend! 

today is also a very funny day!
i love working at sgh! 

yes. tired.
hahhaa.
finally i can sync my logbook.
if you get what i meant.
CI signed for me!!
HAHAHHA.
okay.
lame enough.
bye

as it says. ATTACHMENT day2.
it has been here and there.
or rather. not here not there!
hahhas. still trying to adapt to this very new environment...
and today. something just had to happen.
as i am very used to uniform group style...
which means i put all the things which are required of the uniform on the uniform.
so i out my name tag and watch on my uniform yesterday.
this morning was looking at the time and it says. 1035.
which means that it stopped ticking at 1035 yesterday's night!
DANGGG.
and yesterday they just said that don't bring a dead watch!
but early in the morning where got shop open to change?
so i just put it there for the sake of putting.
then while i was on the bus.
i see it moving!!! 
miracle or what.
but still i went to change the batt just now after work...

after i reach home.
i ate and then while watching tv. i fell asleep.!
and i slept until 11.20pm!
whoosh.
never felt so tired before.
and my dad never see me awake in the night. until just now!
and now i am sitting down typing this post cos i am waiting for my hair to dry... -.-
tmr PM shift until 9pm.
don't know how to survive!
strive on ! i know i can do it!
for He is with me! =D

friends that doesn't understand me, disappoints me.

don't bother asking me what happened.
but just ask yourself. won't you feel disappointed if your friend, to be exact, close friends, doesn't understand you.?

fj asked me something just now.
i shall go pray now though it's late.
i know He still listens to me.
He is 24/7